Perfectly, imperfect and remarkably rich.

It is 1:15pm on Sunday March 1. The day before my 31st birthday. I find myself sitting in the Dallas airport until 6:30pm tonight. Not because I arrived early, because I arrived behind. 

If you don't know me ... welcome to my world... I live my life in chapters and I believe there is a bigger lesson in most everything. Today as I take the time (and plenty of it) to close a chapter, I prepare my heart for the opening of a new one. It seems by conventional standards my life is behind... better stated... by my own self-imposed, self-constructed standards my life is behind my own self-imposed, self-constructed schedule :)

And then, here I sit attempting to enjoy a bland cup of coffee ... Pandora on my headset... and this...

Come on my soul

Come on my soul

Let down the walls

And sing my soul

And in less than 60 seconds I am overwhelmed with how PERFECTLY imperfect my life is ABSOLUTELY right on time. I am overwhelmed with the lives I have the privilege to share in. And brought to tears (right in the middle of the crowded terminal) with gratitude for a life that is behind schedule. 

So, in writing a new chapter I am choosing to redefine those standards. Changing the conversation to celebrate the beauty of a life shared, a life well lived in relationship with those I love. A life poured out in relationship with others. One that is aimed at impacting the lives that surround. A life of iron sharpened by iron. A life RICH in relationship.

Side thought: You will arrive behind schedule in many ways on many days in life... how will you choose to be intentional and active in those behind schedule moments?

Why so much emotion?

Emotions. 

If you are like me (and I bet you are) your emotions can swing in 100 different directions an hour. It is quite amazing actually.

Yesterday, I was all over the map. One extreme to the next within seconds. Enjoying gut level laughs to full out snotty cries ALL DAY LONG. Aunt Flow was not visiting. I cannot attribute the hurricane of emotion to hormones. Simply to being a woman who feels deeply.

For many years I have been taught to loathe this part of myself as a woman. Questioning, why am I so dang emotional... all the time... in all seasons? Easily excited and then disappointed, easily attached and then let down, easily happy then sad, easily invested and then hurt.

But to be honest, I LOVE this part of myself. I love to feel deeply, to connect wholeheartedly. With people and situations. I find it frustrating when others don't. And, I despise how society views emotion as a negative, distinctly female curse.

Let's learn to appreciate the fact that emotions are normal, natural and necessary. Yet, understand that it is what we do with them that is the issue. How we process emotion allows us to exhibit beauty or chaos. Emotions not surrendered to grace can be destructive to our soul and others. They can severely damage relationships. However, emotions surrendered to grace can enhance all of these. It is our ability to feel deeply that is often our strength. It allows us to love, nurture and relate in powerful, life changing ways.

I believe that it is absolutely possible to exhibit PERFECT peace amidst the sea of emotion. All it takes is focusing on the right source. Christ alone.

"You will keep him in perfect peace,

whose mind is stayed on You,

because he trusts in You"

~ Isaiah 26:3

So, as your emotions rise and fall today remember you are beautiful, emotions are natural and you get to choose how to respond to them. Allow yourself to experience them and surrender them to grace.

One Thing Remains.

Change. It is inevitable. 

Seasons come and seasons go. In relationships, careers, churches and families we can count on one thing... things change. It is a constant in life that things do not remain the same. They grow. They develop. People come. People go. Children grow up. Companies close. Seasons change.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. ~ Ecclesiastes 3:1 

As women we often define ourselves by things that change. Those changing relationships, careers, children become our identity and when change comes (as it always will) it can seem that our whole world is shifted. That we do not know who we are because the things that defined our existence have changed. We find ourselves no longer a career women, children grown, without him and we are lost. Wondering. 

So what can we do when change comes?

Our only defense is to begin to define ourselves by the one thing that remains. Our only defense is Christ. His work. His unchanging love. His mark on our lives. 

So, as you find yourself stuck right in the middle of change, REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE. You are a woman who is fiercely loved, saved by grace and made whole in Him. Allow yourself to become completely defined by Christ in you. Then, in the midst of change you will find yourself immoveable. Steadfast because on this solid rock you stand. You will find yourself made whole in the God who is unchanging. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. And because of His work in your life you are becoming a woman steadfast in the mist of change.

Fulfillment may not look like you think it will.

Fulfillment may not look like you think it will.

What do you do with hope deferred?

What do you do when the desire of your heart remains unmet? When you have for years pleaded before the throne of grace to hear, yet again, be patient my child.

I, like many of you, walk daily with heavy hope deferred. Promised land that my heart yearns for way off in the distance. And today tucked away in my bible I found this letter from a dear friend...

"Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him, and he will help you" ~ Psalm 37:4-5

A cool way to look at this verse is that Christ doesn't give us what we already have a desire for, but that Christ places desires on our hearts. When God places a desire on our hearts I believe that He plans to fulfill that desire. 

Fulfillment may not look like you think it will.

"The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of His understanding. He gives power to the week and strength to the powerless. Even youth will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." ~ Isaiah 40:28-31

Continually ask God for renewed strength while you wait on Him to grant the desires. Continually delight in His goodness.

Continually delight in His goodness. We must (at times, second by second) surrender our ways to Christ, finding ourselves made whole in worship of Him. We must with open palms and open hearts surrender our way to Him. For He knows the plans He has for us and they are good. His intention towards us is pure, it is full of love and only for our best. So when you are weary, frustrated and angry ... Feast on His goodness. Delight in Him. Focus on Christ. Choose to abide in Him. Do not grow impatient and go your own way ... remember the unnecessary pain this caused Abraham's wife Sarai?

He who promised is faithful. His word NEVER returns void. And He loves you.

Satisfy us each morning with your unfailing love. That we may sing for joy and be glad ALL our days. ~ Psalm 90:14

Be Thou my Vision.

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart.

Funny how we wrestle God at times. Earlier today I had the workings of a post on "Becoming a Woman of Vision." I had been chewing on it over the weekend. It was one of those blog posts that I just knew would get a resounding AMEN. However, when I went to post this morning I just couldn't get the words right on the page. I closed my laptop and moved on with my day. 

A frustrating day at that. One of those days when it seems necessary to fight God. Struggling when I could have had peace simply because I could not just let God win. Like a child fighting a much-needed nap, tired and worn, I would not relent.

You see... I find myself in a season as a woman where there are some deep unmet desires in my life. Desires that every woman can understand (and if you can't insert your own). To my soul they feel a grave injustice. Like God has ripped me off. So, like every good child I tried to outsmart the parent only to land in more frustration. 

This afternoon sitting in my car, drowning out my own thoughts with my best Taylor Swift car dance routine, I decided to put myself in timeout. I turned the music off and opened-up my bible to land right in Job. PERFECT. 

This is what I read:

"If you would prepare your heart, and stretch out your hands towards him."

~ Job 11:13

In that moment I realized why I couldn't get the post out this morning! Why I was striving so hard to only find frustration.

If we are ever to become women of vision, women who are effective in impacting change in the situations and lives that surround us (the women we are called to be) we MUST first allow God to become our vision. Not that our desires as women are wrong or that we should not present them to God. That is EXACTLY the one place we should always present them. But, as my devotional* said this morning "Train your mind to seek me in every moment, every situation." Actively TRAIN your mind to let go and allow Christ alone to become your vision. And find sweet rest for your weary soul. Then take a nap :) 

* Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

Call it what it is.

Sometimes the truth smacks you in the face and takes a moment to settle in.

Ever had someone say something that challenged your norm. Something that, at first, lit you on fire but on second thought caused you to reshape the way you think about something. 

Happened to me this week. Seemingly simple moment that left a big impact.

Sitting at dinner, I can't even remember how the conversation came about, I said something to the effect:

"Every once in a while a girl just needs a good, ugly cry."

To which I got a perplexed, "I have never heard that before"

I must have seemed just as puzzled. "You know... mascara smeared, snot all across the face, heaves, seemingly unreasonable...  A good, ugly cry." (all my girls feel me on this)

"Yeah I know what you are talking about but I would never call it that. I believe it is important to call things what they really are. Words carry weight and ugly is not what is going on there..."

WOOWA watch it... in the moment it stirred me up (I thought what do you know). So in my most spirited fashion I replied "Well, I will still have a good, UGLY cry from time to time!"

We chuckled and moved on in conversation.

But for days this conversation has haunted me...

How many times as women do we mislabel what is at the core just because it is seen as weak, undesirable or simply misunderstood. Things are not always as they appear on the surface. Your words matter. And your emotions as a woman are not ugly. So the next time you go to have a good cry... call it what it is... it may be sloppy, snotty, smeary and uncontrolled... but it is not ugly.

1000 Monday Mornings.

“The cross comes before the crown and tomorrow is a Monday morning!”

~ CS Lewis

So I approached my quiet time this morning looking for answers to some hard, heart aching questions... And BAM! This is what I read... "Give up the illusion that you deserve a problem free life." I had to laugh out loud at myself! We read verses like John 15 and cling to the promise that if we abide we will bear fruit ... Which we will! But let's be clear on what that fruit is. Galatians 5 says the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. In our society we have a tendency to think that bearing fruit means an "easy" life with the perfect family, a great job, no financial problems...  you know the Instagram perfect life. All aspirations that are not bad. But that is not what we are promised. However, we are promised that we will have peace that transcends all understanding, joy that is our strength and that we will never walk alone!! In the words of my dear friend and mentor Sheila Atchley (http://www.sheilaatchleydesigns.com)... your life and legacy are built on 1000 Monday Mornings. Here is to a new week working through ‪#‎1000mondays‬.